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08-May-2016 07:26

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This article is for young kids and teenagers growing up in a household with overbearing Asian parents, the sort that I describe in my Attention: Overbearing Asian Parents article.

In the three years since writing that article, I've received lots of email responses and discussion forum messages from the perspective of young adults who have been oppressed by their parents.

Someone hunky, with gorgeous blue eyes and who totes understands you and your crazy family. Basically if your future husband isn’t a doctor, your parents will be secretly devastated. All aunties = cupid Any female relative / family friend / someone your mum said hello to once over the age of 35 will be desperately on the lookout for you and can reel out your physical description, educational achievements and your current job at any given moment. Strict criteria It’s not like you aren’t allowed to marry whoever you want, but there is a simple criteria that your parents would like you to follow. That’s how absurd they will find your choice of partner. Online dating = dire selection If you reckon that Po F and Tinder are bad, then in comparison to the British Asian specialist online dating site they showcase the crème de la crème of singletons.

Simple to them means a certain religion, shoe size… Realistically you’ve got a better chance of finding a dodo than finding a match on 8. Spies everywhere Due to an abundance of relatives and family friends living in close proximity you can’t go for a Nando’s date at your local branch. Boy friend = boyfriend Your parents simply refuse to believe that any male friend isn’t a potential suitor for your hand in marriage. You’ve been ambushed at least once On more than one occasion your parents have casually invited a couple round and their son over for Sunday tea.

I think that all your articles on authoritarian parents should be prefaced with a warning to seek professional help.

But imagine having a strict list of criteria from your parents and practically your whole family involved in trying to find you someone.

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I assert that Asian parents' obsessive emphasis on grades, test scores, and college rankings originate from their upbringing in a poor, oppressive, and politically-unstable third-world society.I then encourage kids growing up under these overbearing parents to try to understand why their parents feel so strongly about such issues, and then try to accept them for who they are rather than rebelling against or trying to change them.