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01-Mar-2016 21:35

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Last month, Quebecoise singer Béatrice Martin, better known as Coeur de Pirate, wrote a letter coming out as queer. it’s important that they say they’re openly queer for younger people. He looked like a guy who was totally straight, which is ridiculous to say, and he waved at me and I said hi. It was like, “Oh, this is a safe place for them.” They came to my show and I’d never felt that before.

The 26-year-old’s coming out was in response to the devastating shooting at Pulse, a gay club in Orlando. But I assume there was a great deal of positive feedback as well? When this happens, it’s really magical and it feels like you’re actually doing something.

Scrutiny intensified yet again after the public learned about Martin’s relationship with Laura Jane Grace, a trans woman who fronts the popular punk band Against Me! Martin’s letter and new relationship have proved difficult for people to swallow, not to mention a profound adjustment for Martin herself. I’m sorry, but if I were dating a dude, everyone would be happy for me. That was kind of, I mean, I was told that I was insane, you know? I guess people don’t want to project anything onto themselves in those situations, so they’re projecting onto me. But because this isn’t seen often and because I’m well known in Quebec, all of a sudden, it’s like the person that they thought I was is completely different.

spoke to the singer about the letter, her family, and what it feels like to finally be free. It really hurt to think that people are still thinking this way.

Were you already planning on coming out or did this event change your mind about being closeted? What happened was that I initially came out to my husband.

I told him how I was feeling and how I had been feeling for a long time.

So it was really intense, and to think that that kind of thing could happen at a club of all places, even in the States, I didn’t know what to do with it. Well, why I wrote the letter was because people died and maybe they hadn’t come out to their parents or to their family or their close friends. I mean, there’s all this terminology that comes to mind because it wasn’t working for me. It’s really funny because I thought I’d be okay dealing with it. But once all these major changes happen in your life, it’s too hard to hide.

I’m sure people felt the same way when the attacks in Paris happened, because of the change in time and everything. I was shocked and then I was just really, really, really sad. I guess a lot of people found out when they woke up and everything, but for me, it was direct. Once I had [my daughter] Romy, all these feelings started really coming back and I started shutting down again and not knowing what to do. I feel like a lot of people in these situations, you know, they have a family and then all these feelings come back, the way you were feeling when you were younger. But the second that I came out, it literally got worse. It was just this general hatred that was coming out. They didn’t understand the term “queer.” They didn’t understand why I was doing this.

And in my head, I didn’t think it would be such a big deal to start dating women eventually. But in my case, it was kind of particular because I’m dating someone who’s trans, so with that terminology, I needed to come out and say I was “queer.” It just felt right.

She joined the ranks of people who took to the Internet and publicly declared their sexuality, aiming to affirm the unity and resilience of the LGBTQ community. Many found it difficult to understand how a woman married to a man with whom she’s had a daughter could veer off the comfortable, heterosexual path. What was the most surprising aspect of the negative feedback?

Others, of course, congratulated Martin and commended her boldness. The most hate that I’ve received is for being with someone who is trans. It’s just a general hatred and I don’t know where it comes from.

I thought nobody would really see this, and then it kind of became a big thing. I feel like a lot of people have picked up on it, maybe, and understand “Oh, you were a certain way before, and now you’re like this.” It just shows. Especially because of the people who didn’t get to come out to their families and then they died. What started happening—and it was really special—I started having physical reactions to whatever was going on in my heterosexual life.

I was just sad because people were saying, “Oh, she’s making this about herself.” And that really wasn’t the idea—not at all. Eventually I think I would have cracked and gone for it, for sure.

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