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05-Oct-2016 21:11

Adam asked us to close our eyes and try to connect a digit with a member of the opposite sex, while he cranked up Pachelbel's Canon to full volume.I opened one eye and spotted a young girl with one arm folded across her body, eyes open purposefully trying to get a purchase on the finger of the hot blond in the room. Adam asked us to thank our partners a lot and there was much hugging."Notice who is around you," said Adam, rubbing their vanilla sex lives right into their boring faces. In this frigid-shaming exercise, I found myself lying a lot. Adam managed to simulate a sort of "Mindfulness while changing lines at Green Park" atmosphere, and soon got us to train our gaze up each other's bodies towards the eyes.

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Chit-chat aside, I had some reservations about the "full-on" nature of the Shhh experience. The press release boasted that this was for "people who want to find deep connections, without the mask of predictable conversations". He got us all to stand on one side of the room before telling everyone who has had a one-night stand to walk to the other side of it. Light ritual humiliation out of the way we got down to the good stuff.

Even in my most intense relationships, the idea of someone fixing me with some dreamy, thin-lipped pout-gaze does something to my acid reflux. Off we trotted, leaving three little mice all by themselves on the other side. To the soothing tones of Zero 7 we shuffled around the room in a sort of rehabilitation exercise for dead-eyed commuters.

I didn't get the hugging memo, and was routinely left hanging for a high five.

At one point, I also miscalculated the end of a game and was left blindly pivoting round the room with my index finger in the air.

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We were asked to get in a circle and give the person in front of us a back massage.

A rather frisky lady in a wrap dress got right to work on my tight shoulder knots and I'm not gonna lie, it was very sensual.



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