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She said that he got off “scot free” and she got stuck being the “bad guy.”And even here on my blog, “Emerging from Broken” I have been pretty easy on him. He didn’t seem to hate me, he didn’t seem to resent me, he never called me names like stupid or ugly and he didn’t hit me, but the thing is that he didn’t really do the opposite of those things either.
But recently, inspired by fresh pain that my father has caused me, I realized it is time to write more about my father and the lack of contribution that he made to my life. I have come to realize that my father is a passive abuser.
One definition of passive abuse is hurting a child with a lack of interest, a lack of communication all of which is neglectful and discounting.
There is a message that this behaviour sends the child and I was that child. Really seeing and accepting the truth about my father and our dysfunctional father daughter relationship (or lack of father daughter relationship) this past two years or so has made it difficult for me to want to deal with him since I began to stand up to other abusers in my life.