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It felt as if too many of these older men viewed the entire relationship as some kind of a competition. Carol spent too many years “keeping up the appearance” of second place.If she achieved a benchmark or thought of something, hatched an idea or had a business success, her Significant Other couldn’t handle it and bruised her ego. “Most men my age and older are too competitive, younger men don’t try it.” With a younger man Carol feels that her successes are celebrated with her in the spotlight she’s earned, instead of just marked on the scoreboard.Just being allowed to feel happy about her work makes a better relationship.Carol spoke of dating and being in relationships with men who had long tails of child support, financial settlements, alimony, and earnings reductions due to past marriages and relationships.Carol had some pretty bald faced good reasons to be with a younger guy.The tables were turned, it seemed, on traditional relationships.A good friend shared with me that his sister showed at Thanksgiving with a much younger man. While in theory many more people might accept this, it made for some awkward moments around the traditional bird.
Carol remarked that almost all her relationships in her 20’s and 30’s had been with men who were so competitive it exhausted her on too many levels.To Carol, most younger men don’t have these issues.