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Single and married members of the Church see the challenges facing singles in a very different way.In a survey of Church members, singles overwhelmingly provided a few very specific answers, while the married respondents only mentioned those issues a few times, while giving very different responses.The survey was posted in various LDS-oriented Facebook Groups such as, “LDS Midsingles of the World,” plus on several wards’ email lists. The answers are a bit skewed due to the large number of singles that responded, but that only helps provide a greater insight into the challenges of the singles.I asked the two questions above in order to dispel the myth that singles don’t want to get married, and/or that they are intentionally postponing marriage.As a result, the women become more and more accomplished and therefore more and more intimidating and ultimately not the sweet, young thing the 20 year old had in mind as the “perfect” lds girl Hard to pinpoint just one, but I guess I’d say the biggest challenge is finding someone whose goals, interests, life experience, and maturity match one’s own – and who simultaneously feels the same way – especially given the unprecedented level of freedom and opportunity enjoyed in our society (for better or for worse, freedom and opportunity make singleness less onerous and also has a tendency to promote individual diversity at the expense of this “sameness” which I think is so critical).
If you review the responses to the question regarding respondent’s age at time of marriage, you will see that 68% of respondents were married before the age of 26. Meanwhile, women older than 20 and single are perceived as left overs, by 25, old, by 30 spinsters because of the male population for the reasons mentioned previously.
If, for example, you’ve already waited til your mid-to late twenties because you couldn’t find the right person, you’re more likely to pass up opportunities to build a life with someone who is good, but not perfect.