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23-Feb-2016 03:23

Generally smelling of shite, this is the place where the farmers meet to moan about how badly off they are.

Then they sell their livestock and go for a few drinks and an extended lunch at the Auctioneer… After which, they then park their trailers up in Tesco opposite and wander around doing their shopping in overalls and wellies covered in excrement.. Moving down towards the town you come to Harraby and Botcherby.

Sensibly, the local police have located their new HQ and cells in between these two estates. The bars and night spots along here leave little to be desired.

Whilst under-age school girls parade in mini dresses and platform shoes, the school boys ride up and down on bikes.

Old men stand outside the doors of the bars smoking and attempting to chat up the school girls who all look well over 25. Walk along and enjoy the game of avoiding the piles of sick on the pavement whilst teenage mothers push prams, with toddlers running ahead and their mothers hold their fags over the baby in the pram.

Known locally as Scarraby and Botch, these vast estates contain residents who live next door to their mums, who live next door to their grans and often next to their aunties.

Children run along the street whilst the chain-smoking mothers wander two hundred metres behind.

It is often difficult to know if they live next door to their fathers unless a DNA test is performed. a fifties style sprawling metropolis of pebble dashed grey housing and ‘old’ Harraby…

These two tribes do not like each other and generally look down on each other. a pre-war estate of dull brick buildings, maze like crescents and the usual rows of local shops which double up as meeting places for the local drug dealers and prostitutes. To stop the drunken chavs from getting run over on a late night bender. don’t encourage them not to drink so much, put up gates to keep them safe whilst they fall into the road, flashing all that God gave them as they do so!

Welcome to the in-breeding capital of the UK, Carlisle!

As you enter the city you will find the auction mart.

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