Guide to using online dating sites
If I'm not your dream date, you'll have to ask someone else...). I'm rather wistful that cyber-courting didn't jump the shark into "normal" until after I'd met my husband, so I never got the chance to try it. I like the way it has transformed Britain into a dating culture, like America, where girls can go out with dozens of guys just for the fun of it - no expectations, no promises, just getting to know new people and seeing what happens. Within minutes, I was setting myself up with a profile on a range of dating sites; you need a profile to be allowed in to look at the men. The website doesn't ask for all my personal information before I'm allowed to drool over pictures of minidresses.)I chose a random photo of a girl from the internet and started ticking the description boxes offered by the site.Second, they sound like an exact description of the writer's ex. A picture-less ad says: "I am so ugly I didn't want to risk a photo," "I am married," or "I am on the run from Broadmoor." 8. Not because they can't get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Learn from your bad and boring dates and try again. Split the bill You're two grown-ups, not a sugardaddy and his gold-digger.Chivalry means being attentive, thoughtful and fair, not paying for all the food. Have sex if you want – and not if you don't want Having sex doesn't make you morally corrupt, and it won't necessarily wreck your chances of a relationship. Call them the next day Ignore those rules about waiting three days to get in touch.If they're not interested, at least you'll know – and you can move on to the next date.
Specific information does more than make you sound interesting – it also gives potential dates something to write to you about. Never admit that your friend wrote your profile "I asked my friend to describe me, and here's what he wrote…" is a cop-out. Ditch the wish list Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists. You might not get any emails This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Chances are that you won't fancy each other, or that only one of you will fancy the other. It's very unusual for someone to find a good match in their first few attempts.By writing this in your profile, you're telling people that you're not smart or self-aware enough to write it yourself. Zip up your baggage Most living grown-ups have a history of exes, hang-ups and maybe a nervous breakdown or two. They know that you have a past, but they don't want to hear about it. They're looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5'10" and 6', from north-east Birmingham, and so on. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak. No chance Don't even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Don't lie with the camera An overly flattering photo will backfire. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. Sexy snaps will get you nowhere Whether you're a man or a woman, a photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. Don't fall in lust with a photo Use photos and emails for spotting potential, but don't start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. See it all as experience, not as proof that you're a loser (or that everyone else is a loser).You need a woman's perspective: allow GQ's arbiter of dating etiquette to oblige.(Note from Victoria: This will only be useful if you're hoping to attract a 40-year-old married woman. I've barely met a single man in five years who hasn't. Show the readers what Well, I didn't need to be asked twice.
Forget that stuff about playing hard to get, expecting the man to pay, and never having sex on a first date. Modesty is a turn-off Many dating profiles start with statements like: "I'm no good at this kind of thing". If you put yourself down, you won't sound attractively self-effacing. Instead of saying that you like sunsets, mention the best sunset you've ever seen. You don't have to write someone an epic love letter (please don't) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their ad and write a quick intro email. You may think you're "connecting", but you can't judge chemistry unless you meet up.
Today's rules are a little more user-friendly – but some of them may surprise you. Say which music you like, and your favourite place to see your friends. Likewise, you won't "keep them keen" by making them wait days for a reply. Six emails in total – not each – is enough to know whether you want a date. Don't expect too much from a first date You're meeting a stranger. It may take many dates to find someone you like It's easy to lose faith when your first few dates don't work out.