Good online dating one liners


20-Nov-2015 12:29

Seen lots of poems about virtue, but hardly any vice versa. It’s adorable to allow the easy movement of people between adjoining rooms sharing a common wall. Argued with my girlfriend about whether to wear cloth over just one of my shoes. Someone should invent a device to measure the radiation coming from luxury designer shoes and call it the Kurt-Geiger counter. Not got many members yet, possibly as no celebrities in Dorset. He apologised for his chronic fear of travelling above ground in abasement. ” “Just a hunch.” Keep catching my friend sucking light bulbs. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s getting married and the music as he walks down the aisle be Bach.

I won’t compromise on my lollipop diet, not in a month of sundaes. This asteroid is suitable for vegetarians, but over there is a meteor one. Over 39 years being quiet means its probably time to start being louder. 1st – 31st March 2010 My pride may never be this wounded again, and I’m not even that old! There’s been another murder: the victim was battered to death with a melted clock. Started a campaign encouraging tourism to the South-West coast. “Something tells me we’re getting close to Notre Dame.” “Oh yes?

I got my mate coal for Christmas, as I didn’t think he’d mined it. Prince Charles’ speech from inside Vesuvius was just a load of hot heir. Don’t worry, I’ve checked and it’s the real Mc Coy. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence float around in the sea fighting crime in new action film Bad Buoys.

Before he went mad, he used to love the smell of flowers. Playing poker and my mate raised me his mother’s sister. My housemate burnt all my aromatic sticks without asking me first. The catastrophic Shakespeare Convention suddenly went from bard to verse. Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett can’t stop laughing at my small savoury appetiser. He got hit so hard he flew across the border and landed in Texas. It was a bad idea to wear the 1950s Buddy Holly glasses he realised retrospectively. The Thunder Cats are designing me a new kitchen, but I’m not very confident about Lino.

In 2010 my new year’s resolution was to write a new pun every day. Didn’t see the lizard that bit me, but heard he got run over a few days later. Lovers: if at first you don’t succeed, tryst, tryst, tryst again. 1st – 28th February 2010 Don’t drink and ski – no sense going off piste. I don’t care about justice, but I will have hengeance. Saw my mate stir frying on a glacier, I thought, “You’re woking on thin ice.” “Are there any local singing groups I can join? Tried embroidering some jokes on a cushion cover, but it wasn’t the right material. The foreman’s insistence that his crane crew all wear Medieval coats was to be his undoing – hoisted by his own tabard. ” “No, it came with the dress.” Trying to have a relaxing walk in the park, but this oversized picnic basket is really hampering me. Even ones that only affect the talons are against the claw.

Wish I could trace where it came from, but I’m no genieologist. Trying to write a sentence praising the government’s new VAT increase on immoral goods, but I’ve got issues with the syntax.

She got a phone call about her brother as soon as his kidney problems flared up again. Light Brigade Batteries: Always Charging Bedlam Lip Care: Totally Balmy MENSA commandos: Swot Team Just joined an organisation that keeps you fit by running alongside queues, staring at the people in them. Burned my tongue on a cup of Earl Grey, then recorded and autotuned my scream. Everyone knows about this mysterious rodent – he’s fey mouse.



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