Giving up on dating book
Over the years he wrote more books about dating and marriage, including , he is the father of three kids—two of them teenagers—and he is pursuing formal education for the first time in his life.
, written by Joshua Harris and first published in 1997, argued that traditional dating was “a training ground for divorce” because it puts people in the habit of quitting relationships when things get tough.
Aimed at teens and twentysomethings, the book discouraged teen relationships and proposed that courtship, in which a couple moves purposefully toward marriage with their parents’ blessing and involvement, was a superior model to dating.
And it argued that any kind of physical intimacy before marriage was a violation of the sacredness of married sexuality, and could lead to lifelong regret.
became a phenomenon in conservative Christian circles.
It inspired both praise—from the likes of purity matriarch Elisabeth Elliot and Focus on the Family—and book-length rebuttals.
As the couple begins to say their vows, a woman in the congregation stands up and walks toward the front of the church, silently taking the groom’s hand.Then another joins them, and another, and another, forming an ominous chain at the altar. A bride is walking down the aisle toward her beloved on their wedding day.Stained glass, string quartet: Everything is perfect.
It was even better not to even kiss before you got to the altar, Harris suggested, and beware of “emotional hookups,” too.He shared scary and supposedly true stories like Ben and Lisa’s: Christians who dated seriously, had sex, eventually broke up, and years later still “expressed emotional trauma and guilt.” .