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22-Jul-2015 15:17

While your average 15-year-old boy is unlikely to ask if a girl can sleep over (although some do), a gay teen may have many friends of the same sex whom he sees without supervision, talks to behind closed doors, or asks to spend the night in his bedroom.Does that have to change if you now know your teen is attracted to the same sex?On last Thursday night's episode of Praise the Lord, a faith-based talk show, host Matt Crouch announced: 'OK, are you ready for something? Gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens are just like heterosexual teens in that they will get crushes, probably date, and hopefully learn a little about themselves in the process.If you trust your teen to be honest with you about their relationships, set some ground rules.Let them know that if they’re romantic with somebody, you want to meet that person, and you want them to be honest about the nature of their relationship. Does your gut tell you that they might try to do something dishonest?Talk about consequences if they do choose to break the rules. Make sure that your reservations come from your teen, and not from discomfort around their sexual orientation.If you’re in doubt, talk to someone you trust to be fair and insightful about this situation.

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Discuss your rules: no overnights with a romantic partner, no being in the room with the door closed, etc. If they don’t have your trust, how can they regain it?

(You may be fine with them spending the night, or unsupervised time, with a romantic partner; if so, there is less negotiating to do.) Tell them you will trust them to comply with these ground rules, and to tell you which peers they apply to. It’s very important that all of this is communicated to them openly.



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