Most people don’t intend to be jerks when they start online dating.
But in a whirlwind of elusive communication, evasive e-mails and dropped texts, we unknowingly might be leaving behind a trail of bruised or miffed feelings – or just unnecessary unpleasantness that doesn’t help a process that’s already hard on the heart.
Everyone is on this boat together, and it would probably be good if we were a little nicer on that boat.” So here’s my field guide on how we can restore decency to online dating: 1) Answer emails and texts.
If someone takes the time to email or text you, it’s polite to respond.
The slights tend to fall into two categories: Lack of acknowledgement and lack of clarity.
Whether they result from laziness, inconsiderateness or misguided attempts to avoid hurting each other, we can do better!
Otherwise, most people appreciate learning if you’ve moved on or had a change of heart.
He writes “TGIF” but doesn’t inquire about your weekend. Don’t write a cryptic “Maybe we can hang out over the weekend” and then let it drop. Yes, it’s annoying, but part of dating is learning how to make the most of disappointment.
It’s up for debate whether you need to respond to first emails.
One friend told me, “I don’t need her to write back to tell me she’s not interested before we’ve even started communicating.” However, if you’ve already begun a conversation, you shouldn’t leave anyone hanging.
The last thing anyone needs is more angst, especially when they’re feeling vulnerable and risking rejection.
Or as comedian Aziz Ansari wrote in his book : “Everyone is dealing with the same nonsense.