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I explain that my daughter has autism, and over the next minute and a half, I see the spark fade from my date’s eyes.The School of “Sooner” To be up-front about your child’s autism, whether it’s mentioned on your dating profile or in the first few telephone conversations—or even the first meeting—is, to some, a way to “weed out” the unwilling or unable.
She’s leaning forward, making lots of eye contact, and there’s an air of flirtation in her voice. We chat about our jobs, our tastes in music, and a variety of topics common to a first date. “So, you have a really cute daughter,” she offers, turning the conversation to my home life. A little devil appears on my left shoulder, and an angel on my right. To start this off, I’ll share my experience with both approaches, as well as those of two mothers I’ve spoken to, who have had several years of dating experience.
But while autism is a tough sell in today’s dating market, there’s no getting past the fact that at some point you have to tell your date you have a child with autism.
I scared her off, and to be honest, I knew it would happen.
She’s a career woman, has a “type-A” personality, never been married, no children, clearly high maintenance. I can tell we’re done—the conversation that follows is feigned interest at best.
Colleen, a mother from Illinois, told me, “If they want to talk to me again, that’s their choice.It removes so much pressure and stress to just put it out there immediately, before the decision to ask you out is made.