Dating really blows hot dating games

16-Jul-2015 10:52

His Fear: That you'll be different from what he's expecting.

We've all been there — you thought the date went perfectly, he acts fine the whole time, and afterwards, you wait for him to call and...zilch.

He’s intelligent, curious, shows up, cooks me dinner… But a few days later, he suddenly tells me things are moving too fast. When I asked why, he said “it just doesn’t feel right,” that I was giving out mixed signals and he had no say in anything. (I know this isn’t a healthy trait.)After that, I admitted via text messages (not ideal I know) that I had some issues, didn’t behave well, and agreed it would be good to be friends. I told him I was feeling more relaxed and left it at that. He kissed me on the cheek twice and said something about maybe cooking dinner for me again sometime… I clearly didn’t make him feel good when I pulled away. I don’t even know if he pulled back because I pulled back or he met someone else or lost interest or he’s commitment-phobe. I wanted to see if I could make things work with someone who didn’t make me feel super tingly but might be a good long term partner. ) now that he has pulled away, I find him much more attractive and want him back. I joked, “too bad we’re not dating, otherwise I’d kiss you.” He asked what he said that was so charming. I don’t want to act all crazy and start stalking him. Evan, you always say that a guy only wants to be with a girl who makes him feel good. Okay, that’s what I’m going to tell you anyway, because there’s not much I can really add to the belated wisdom you exhibited in your question: You blew him off and expected him to be waiting for you. You didn’t find him attractive or desirable until he became distant. You were worried about what your friends thought and let that affect things. You realized that chemistry is an illusion but you dissed him anyway. But then we get to the meat of your question, “What should I do to win him back? It’s really confusing sometimes and it feels counter-productive but if I express too much interest the spark is dead..dead!