Dating after a 4 year relationship
You want to make sure you're not still in post-breakup mode.
You have to get past the (valid and often necessary) stage of curling up on your couch and really mourning the loss of your relationship and to the point where you're back in the swing of work, hobbies, friends, and everything else your life normally includes.
"This way, you will feel whole and in high self-esteem before you go back into the next relationship and won't just be trying to fill that hole," says Sherman.
Taking a break from dating after a breakup isn't just about licking your wounds, though—it's also about figuring out what you've learned and can carry over to your next relationship, says psychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy. "The ends of relationships teach us so much about ourselves: our style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual and as part of a two-some simultaneously," she says.
On the other hand, you might need less time if your relationship was very short.
So a fling or one-night stand after a breakup may not be a bad thing—but if you're looking to get into another serious relationship, you're probably better off waiting until you're more or less over your previous one.Whether or not the end of your last relationship was your choice, it can be daunting to start all over again.