Dating a borderline personality
After we separated, my borderline wife and I sorted out a time when she wouldn’t be home when I would come to pick up my belongings.When in a rage, it seemed like my BP partner was channeling an evil spirit. She didn’t see who I was or how she was hurting me.There was no way to negotiate, no way to reason or argue. Her voice would become more rapid, accusatory, demeaning, patronizing, irrational, and paranoid. She would break up with me and then want to get back together—sometimes in the same day. Pain, anger, confusion, never knowing how I’m gonna feel from one minute to the next. When we first began dating, my borderline girlfriend told me I was the very first guy who really loved her for what she was. After a few months, she started criticizing me and everything I did was wrong.Parenting my borderline daughter with is a twenty-four-hour-a-day job.
By the time the phone rang I had decided to get rid of her before she could get rid of me. I felt so ridiculous, but the pain, the fear, and the gut-wrenching poker in my gut were very real.
Wanting to die but not being able to kill myself because I’d feel too much guilt for those I’d hurt, and then feeling angry about that so I cut myself or take an overdose to make all the feelings go away. One night I called my girlfriend and she said she would call me back because she was watching TV. It hurt so bad because the day before, I had started to believe that she really loved me.