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17-Apr-2015 08:23

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You may have read about the slightly-creepy marriage markets in China, in which parents set up tables advertising their adult sons and daughters to potential mates.

Think about it: when you consider what to do in terms of relationships, don’t you use your parents’ marriage and/or relationships as a reference point?

If your parents and other family members married out of convenience rather than romance, there isn’t a lot to help guide you when trying to find a romantic partner you really click with.

This goes back to less stable times, when marriage meant much-needed security, but of course this is by no means a purely Chinese phenomenon: In 2010, 44% of American women had married by age 25, but way way back in 1995, more than 59% had been hitched by 25.

China is relatively new to the whole modern-stable-globalized-internet (still working on that last one, really) country thing, and when your culture is over 4,000 years in the making, old habits die hard.

You’ll often hear people say that cultural differences are overstated or not as much of a factor as they used to be, and while there is some validity to that, cultural differences are nothing to scoff at – they do most definitely exist.

One of the primary issues here is that for Chinese women, there is a much stronger emphasis on getting married early.

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In fact, I once dated a girl who would only meet up at places that her parents AND grandmother had pre-approved; as you can imagine none of these places were very fun.

Your lady’s generation may well be the first to have that freedom of romantic choice, and that's something you need to keep in mind while making your decisions for your relationship – there simply isn't a ton of cultural precedent for her to fall back on.