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I knew from studying NLP and psychology that there are two ways I could attempt change: 1. Shoulders (tense the muscles in your upper back to pull your shoulders back, release) 11.Change my thought patterns and my physical self would follow. Change my physical self and my thought patterns would follow. Head — this one is different: roll neck gently clockwise, then counterclockwise. Mouth — fake a yawn while inhaling, tensing the jaw muscles somewhat. After finishing this progressive muscle relaxation, I then do a few more minutes of the deep breathing, counting to 2 slowly while inhaling and 4 while exhaling. The next time I had sex, because I had rehearsed failure so often in my brain, I couldn’t perform. The cycle continued and my performance anxiety got worse as time went on — as I gathered more and more If you read the above and saw some of yourself, I want you to know that you can heal and overcome this. Number one in the healing was quitting porn and masturbation altogether. Since recovering, I have had numerous girlfriends, flings, even one-night stands — which in the past, because of my sexual anxiety, I was always terrified of.But there is one thing that I feel really helped me heal faster that I haven’t seen talked about elsewhere too much — which is what I want to cover today.When I was dealing with this performance anxiety, I noticed there were two things that were physically happening in my body as my performance anxiety worsened: One, to be relaxed. In other words, by tensing up, I was sabotaging my body’s natural process of getting an erection.I cannot overemphasize how much this routine helped me recover. It helped me get in control of my body’s relaxation process, and therefore relax more during sex. Not only did it help me get my “mojo” back, it also helped me to become a more laid-back and relaxed person in many other areas. Continue this for about 4 minutes while thinking about how relaxed you feel. Focus on your breathing and on relaxing, deeper and deeper. Start at your toes and as you inhale, squeeze the muscles in your toes tight so that they’re curled up (squeeze with 60% of maximum strength) . It might sound a little cheesy, but this is exactly what I did with guided relaxation, except this mp3 program has been designed specifically for dealing with sexual performance anxiety problems.
It preoccupied my mind and I worried that it would happen again. I thought about it so much that it slowly became a belief. My escalating porn use over the years had desensitized and rewired my brain.
Do this tensing and relaxing for each group of muscles, one by one, from your toes to your head: 1. And I’ve found a few tried and true strategies that have helped guys that I’ve been coaching , so I want to share them. That’s two years now that I’ve been completely free from a crippling ED-causing porn addiction. From the start, I had a game plan for contingencies. ” Porn doesn’t only hurt it can destroy any and all relationships: relationships between addict and child, addict and friends, addict […] This week I have another interesting guest post to introduce.
This was the thing that really turned my performance anxiety around. So I started doing progressive relaxation every day for about 20 minutes. phone turned off, do not disturb sign on door, tell others you are meditating so they don’t interrupt) -Put in earplugs or use earphones (with or without relaxing music — ) -Lay down in your bed and prop up your legs with pillows so that you are comfortable. Put one hand on your chest, the other just above the navel (belly button). It’s called Mental Impotence Healer and is a guided relaxation mp3 that trains your brain to relax and be in the moment during sex.
10 minutes in the morning when I woke up, and 10 minutes before I went to sleep. Count slowly to two while breathing in through the nose. Count slowly to four while breathing out through your nose. I got a copy of it myself and use it daily to train my brain to relax for sex.
With performance anxiety, I found it incredibly difficult to change my thoughts to more positive thoughts. In order to change my body to be able to relax consistently, I needed to condition my body to relax. Stomach (breathe in and hold the stomach in tightly, then exhale while relaxing the stomach muscles) 7. If I still feel that my body is somewhat tense, I will sometimes repeat the muscle tensing and relaxing process.
It was like I was telling myself “Don’t think about a purple elephant.” What did I do? So after analyzing my problem, I decided to try and tackle it from the physical side. In fact my goal was to, ideally, become a more relaxed person . Recently one of my readers let me know about a great produc that I wish I’d had when I was going through this.